why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just want nice things and good sex
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
