She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
