its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
