She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
