Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
