I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
