My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
