I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
