I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
