I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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