My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
