i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
