the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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