Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you traded sex for a burrito?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
