I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
