i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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