I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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