She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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