I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
