my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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