so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
