tell your sister to shave her snatch
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
