marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
