Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
