It's Friday. Sex?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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