U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
