smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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