I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
