Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
