is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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