I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The adults are the big ones right?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
