Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
