also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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