Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Randomize
