I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
