it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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