Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
