At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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