I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My Sexting was not on an AP level
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
