i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
