Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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