i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
