i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
