Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
