We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
