he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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