you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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