now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
