Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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