You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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