when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
