Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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