i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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