i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
